Two Weeks In Solitude: Insights That Matter
I just spent two weeks solo at home, as my partner was traveling abroad. It was a great time of contemplation and solitude for me. Of course, if you know me, you know I love spending time with myself. I’m truly and introvert and have come to fully accept this.
But having more time alone opened my eyes to a few insights that have been meaningful for me. One goal I had while Shala was traveling was to take time to just “be”. Not getting all tied up with a new project or chasing a rabbit hole.
Just being in the quiet.
Resting in the aloneness, going within.
I think the biggest revelation I got through this time was how blessed I truly am in the way I’ve created my life. This is a big deal because my life hasn’t always been so rich – at least emotionally.
Be More, Do More
It’s very interesting because we live in a society that puts a lot of weight on “being more” and “doing more”. And, not just doing anything, but “working”.
I am a freelance writer – primarily a ghost writer, and my livelihood comes from sitting at the computer and typing. But about a year ago, I was getting tired of sitting at the computer for so many hours per day. I mean, quite honestly, my butt hurt – as well as my hands and legs. Sure, I exercise regularly and I take breaks a lot, but still, sitting still for long periods of time can take a toll on the body.
So, I started envisioning a different kind of life. A life where I am less on the computer and more up and about – but not necessarily doing more “work”. (Especially work I wouldn’t enjoy)
Well, over these two weeks, I took inventory of my life, work time and free time. I noticed that I am on the computer half as much as I used to be, and actually earn more money than when I sat there all day. Now, this goes right along with understanding that I’m worthy to make a certain amount of money per hour. I factor this number into all my gigs.
Whereas I used to think I could only make a certain amount of money, I now envision and dream much bigger on that end. I know my skills are VALUABLE, and so do my clients who choose to pay me well.
And not that it’s all about money, because for me, it’s not. Money plays a role, because I enjoy having financial freedom and let’s just say, I’m not afraid to admit I like rolling in the dough, because hey, I went most of my life in a crappy financial situation. (Debt, lack, poverty mentality, poor financial decisions, etc.)
Not anymore, baby!
Still, I am not always “trying to make more” by sacrificing free time. I see plenty of people who are workaholics. Their security and worth are highly attached to the amount of money they make and punch the clock a lot attempting to feel better. You know what I mean?
I used to think that if I had free time or if I hadn’t worked 8 or 10 hours, then I need to be scraping for more. I need to go make art and sell it or market better, or be looking for more work. I felt like I wasn’t valuable or doing enough if I wasn’t slaving away at “something”.
On a side note, a couple years ago I walked into J.C. Penny’s to interview for a job making 8 bucks and hour. I was doing decent in my writing career, but of course, thought I needed more. I sat there with a group of people waiting, and anxiety arose. The thought of trading an hour of my time for $8 wasn’t resonating.
I walked out. And, since then, let’s just say I am only willing to trade a certain amount of money per hour of my valuable time. Now, that’s not to say others shouldn’t work for that wage. Do what you have to do! Be responsible, and for some, that means starting right there at that wage.
But ya’ll, listen. I want freedom in every area of my life. I want free time, and some of that free time I want to be doing things that matter to me. And, maybe some of those things will make a difference in other people’s lives too.
So, I synced up with my desires. I envisioned what I wanted, and well, I ran that by my creator too. I mean, I do want to be led by Divine Intelligence.
And, as I consciously observe, especially in the last two weeks enjoying a solitude retreat, I realize I have created a fantastic life. I mean, really. I’m sitting here at 9am on a Wednesday having a cup of coffee sharing my thoughts with the world. I’ve created a “work schedule” that I love doing work that MAKES a difference in people’s lives.
And, I actually make more money than I ever have doing what I enjoy.
I also take time to exercise, dance around the kitchen, tend to the flower gardens, meditate, pray, talk to my family, and engage in meaningful activities.
There’s something to be said about desire and emotions.
My desire for freedom and joy prompted me to reach for things that helped me feel freedom and joy. Taking a bike ride. Singing. Dancing. Hiking. Picking blackberries. Having good conversation. Listening to inspirational things. And so on.
Feeling as if I were free, manifested freedom. Do you get that?
Feeling as if I were joyful (and doing things that caused joy to arise within), consistently manifests joy!
Ahhh, the law of attraction does tend to work friends. You just keep at it and keep at it, asking, believing, and then, receiving.
I’m grateful for the life I’ve created. Is it perfect? Nah, but that’s alright. I’m after progress; not perfection. And life’s full of ebb and flow, so that’s something I embrace. I still have my days of sadness or angst, but far less than I used to!
I’m grateful for my family, my partner, my dreams, my home, my community, my ambition, my connection with a higher power.
And, I’m grateful for you.
Keep dreaming up and manifesting a good life. If you need help, reach out. There’s an abundance of supports available. Your task is to find what works for you.