For The Days You Want To Give Up

 

“You never give up, even when you should.” ― Kelly CreaghNevermore

 

 

Whether you’re in active addiction, recovery from drinking or drugging, or codependency recovery, I assure you that there will be days when you want to give up.

Give up hope, give up caring, give up sobriety, give up thinking you’re actually able to get your life where you want it to be, give up thinking your loved one will EVER get sober, and so on.

I get it.  I know there were (and still are) some days where I wanted to pack up a suitcase and run as far away as I could from everyone and everything – somehow thinking that would actually help me feel better.

But you know what?

I learned that I could feel that “I want to give up” feeling and not have to “do” anything. 

I learned that I could just feel it, sit with it, and give myself permission to just feel crappy momentarily without having to figure out how the heck to get rid of such a feeling.

And you know what else?

It was worth it; the hanging on, I mean.

The NOT giving up.

The clinging onto that thread of hope that would someone always find me in my deepest, darkest times.

Listen, friends, there will be days when you want to give up. Where your regrets and fears will paralyze you. Where shame will tie a rope around your neck and ask you to jump. Where you’ll look around at others and see them living good lives and you wonder how in the world THEY can have it all while you’re living in misery.

Oh yeah, you’ll be tempted to give up,

But don’t. 

I’m telling you to hang on.

I’m telling you to get yourself to a space where it’s quiet, preferably outside in nature, and BE quiet with yourself for a minute. Just slow-the-eff-down for a short time and listen.

Just listen.

No, not to your ego. Not to the hamster wheel of negative thoughts running through your skull.  Not to the screams of your spouse, wicked step-parent, boss, kids, or whoever else has spewed angry words at you.

Rather, listen to the silence. The birds. The rustles of leaves blowing in the wind.

Breathe deeply a new breath of life and exhale all the garbage you want to let go.

Let go, I said.  Just.Let.Go.

And for real, let God.

Let God what, you ask? 

Let God give you the courage to carry on.  To help you feel the pain you’ve been running from and numbing…I mean really feel it and not freak out.  That pain won’t kill you. The alcohol, drugs, or lack of self-care is what may kill you!

But that emotional pain? It’s not meant to kill you. It’s not meant to make you live a miserable life. 

It’s your opportunity to stop for a moment and ask “why”?

Why am I feeling this pain? What can I do to NOT feel this pain that doesn’t involve something harmful?

And let me be clear:  This isn’t easy to do.  It’s easier to run and numb. It’s easier to stay imprisoned within yourself, wearing a mask so that others will think you’re alright.

But you CAN do it…

You must.

Consider this a definitive moment where you promise yourself to never give up again.  To NOT let your fears, your past, or your emotions cause you to keep living a life marked by addiction, codependency, lies, shame, depression, etc.

Consider today a breakthrough kind of day.

A “I’m drawing a line in the sand” kind of day!

A day where you commit to persist and carry on with faith in something bigger than you. A force greater than us all!

Call it God, Spirit, Nature, Universe, Higher Power, or whatever you want, but know that

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And, you don’t have to keep running, numbing, or escaping.

Stay.

Stay for you, stay for me, stay for your friends and family.

Ask for help if you need; a counselor can work wonders. A friend can help ease the load.  A support group or online forum can be a lifeline.

My point is that there will be days when you want to give up.

But don’t.