For me codependency was a god-send.
Don’t get me wrong. It was very challenging to go through the toxic relationship that first pointed out to me that I certainly struggled with codependent characteristics.
At the same time, had I not entered that relationship, I would not have learned so much about me, others, relationships, and life in general.
Codependency allows us to begin to get a glimpse at underlying issues in our lives that need some help.
Insecurity, anxiousness, old wounds, depression, jealousy, etc. These are just a few of the things we can address when we accept that we’ve fallen prey to codependency.
Though codependency can’t be found in the Bible, there are certainly strands weaved through in theory. Look at Adam and Even in the Garden of Eden. They lacked for nothing. They were perfect in God’s eyes and all of their needs were met.
Sounds like a wonderful place to live, right?
Yet, there was the serpent whispering lies to them, asking them questions and well, tempting them.
In no time, they began to question the validity of what God told them. They began to doubt God, and that absence of faith was the start of their problems.
So, in their disobeying God’s command, and taking matters into their own hands, they ultimately started living in a different reality where they started dealing with the feeling of being separate from God. They were anxious. They lost sight of the fact that in God, they were already whole!
See, we can do the same thing. We come here innocent and pure in the form of a baby, and in no time, things happen, thoughts and beliefs are formed, and somewhere along the way we begin to question ourselves and God.
We forget that we are already complete in God. We are already whole, beautiful spirits simply having an earthly experience.
For the codependent, looking “out there” becomes a habit. It becomes reality, always scanning on how we can feel better, feel “more whole” so-to-speak, in the means of people or things.
And the thing is, many codependents will gravitate toward those who cannot or will not reciprocate emotionally. The narcissist. The addict/alcoholic. The selfish manipulator. The emotional or verbal abuser.
And it’s not usually until they’ve got you hooked line and sinker until you realize, “Oh My Gahhh, I did it again!”
But regardless of why you picked up codependent characteristics, the reality is that you can change. You can heal, and grow, and get closer to your God-connection. When you can really come to know that the only one who can help you feel whole and complete (and thus, relieve the angst you have) is God, however you define God.
Then, you can stop looking at people to do what only God can do – be your ultimate SOURCE!
Can people contribute to your well-being? Yes, but they shouldn’t be your ultimate source.
Be moved by God, dear one. Not others.
Let your approval be from God’s opinion of you. Not others.
And, for those that follow the spiritual path and aren’t even sure what you believe about God anymore, let your emphasis become more about service, rather than self.
How does God think of you?
God adores you more than anyone ever could. You’ve been created from God, Divine Love, and are fearfully and wonderfully made. God sings over you and dances with you. God abides within you. God is for you, and even when it seems all hell is breaking loose in your life, God can calm you with Love.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others” (Galatians 6:4, MSG).