Are You Dating A Narcissist?
Are You Dating a Narcissist?
The world of dating can be pretty tricky, as we’ve all heard horror stories of our friend who got into a relationship with a cray cray or narcissist. If you’re in the dating game, or you’re in a relationship and you’re wondering how you can tell if you’re with a narcissist, here’s an article that will help you out.
First of all, a narcissist most likely doesn’t even know he or she is a narcissist. And even if he suspects it, chances are he doesn’t care and doesn’t want help. So, if perhaps you have gotten entangled in the narcissist’s web, it’s best if you’re prepared before you try to contend with this. Confronting someone about their narcissism usually does not go very well.
The following are some signs that you are indeed dating someone who could be classified as a narcissist.
1. They’re never wrong
A narcissist has a really tough time offering an apology, mainly because he doesn’t think he’s ever wrong.
2. They’re full of themselves
A narcissist loves attention and needs his ego stroked much of the time. Some say they’re like emotional vampires, because they don’t have the self-love deep down that they need in order to feel good about themselves. It might seem like they love themselves, because they’re quite selfish and egotistical, but really, they need their ego stroked in order to feel good about themselves.
3. You’re always wrong
As we said before, a narcissist would rarely admit that he is wrong, so they’re really good at making others wrong. They’ve got a fragile psyche, because they have never dealt with their childhood wounds. So, they have this inflated ego and that makes it really tough for them to hear you when you go to him with an issue. Most of the time he’ll take whatever it is you’re saying and somehow turn it around to make you the one who’s wrong.
4. They are manipulating masters
You probably won’t pick up on this for a while, but a narcissist is a master manipulator. They need to control, and it’s a very root of that need to control is this petrifying fear of being abandoned. They’ll manipulate conversations and situations to make you feel like you’re wrong, because if you feel like you’re wrong, you’re less likely to leave him.
5. They’re vain
We’ve already mentioned how egotistical narcissist are. They’re vain, they’re full of themselves, they think they’re God’s gift to the Earth. They believe that others put them on pedestals and they put themselves there too. Sometimes it can come across as simply being confident, but the real test comes out when they’re not getting the praise or attention that they think they deserve. Then, they can become angry and begin a whole host of behaviors that are less than appealing.
6. They emotionally or verbally abuse
It’s not unlikely for a narcissist to emotionally or verbally abuse their partners. That could be belittling you when you’re out with friends, sending you ugly texts when he doesn’t get his way, giving you the silent treatment because you didn’t do or say what he thought you should, playing mind games with you, and so on. And just so you know, none of this is ever okay.
7. You never feel heard
Chances are you want to emotionally connect with your partner, but a narcissist is unable to emotionally connect with you. You may go to him for emotional support or just to connect at a deeper level, and you’ll be met with aloofness and perhaps coldness. His waters will never run deep, and chances are he will never really listen to you. He’ll tell you that you talk too much, or he’ll tell you to go to your girlfriends to discuss your issues. He has very little tolerance for trying to be a support to you as you navigate life.
8. They’re intolerant
The narcissist will not want to put up with any drama from you. If he wants to create some drama, fine. But let’s say you have an awful day at work, or someone treats you poorly. You go to him for support, and he just doesn’t want to hear it. He might tell you you’re acting like a baby and just grow up and get over it. He lacks empathy and will be challenged when it comes to giving you any emotional support. However, he’s sly and he wants something, he can conjure up some other thing in order to get what he wants. He also won’t want to discuss relationship issues with you. It’s tough for him to think that he’s done anything wrong or that he has room for improvement, so he may make you think you’re crazy if you go to him wanting to discuss your relationship issues.
9. You can’t nail down conflict resolution
This brings me to conflict resolution. Essentially, there is none in your relationship. Let’s say you go to your partner trying to set a boundary, because you’re tired of being belittled in public. So, you go to him and tell him that you don’t appreciate this type of behavior, and you’re drawing a line in the sand and say no more. You let him know that continued belittling is a deal-breaker for you. He doesn’t take it so well, and thus starts an emotional roller coaster ride, where at the very end of the conversation, you find yourself apologizing to him for even bringing it up. You feel awful for feeling the way you do, and for bringing waves into your relationship ocean. So you walk away, tail between your legs, feeling defeated and feeling disappointed in yourself because deep in your heart you know that you’re right, but he makes you feel wrong.
This is not an exclusive list of narcissistic characteristics, but I think that you’re getting the idea. Do you see some of these traits in the guy you’re dating? Are you in a relationship with someone like this? If so, know that you’re not alone, and it will be necessary for you to begin a journey to learn more about toxic vs. healthy relationships.
It will serve you well to continue learning about narcissistic behavior, but also codependent behavior. You can begin a journey toward working on your own self, and becoming stronger in and of yourself. You can begin a journey toward becoming closer with your Creator, and if you need to walk away from this narcissist, you’ll grow strong enough in order to do so.
If you need help, please reach out.
Is divine or supernatural healing for today? Are we to just accept that we’re going to come down with illnesses, aches, and/or diseases? Or, can we actively be doing something to prevent and/or heal such? Are we powerless or powerful? Do our thoughts or beliefs make a difference?
My intent here is to look at healing from various modes of thinking or modalities. So much research has been done on the topic from a religious, spiritual, and scientific perspective.
From the time of Jesus, healing has been a major topic in the church and elsewhere. I love to read about all the accounts of healings that Jesus performed in the Bible. I also love to read about miraculous healings throughout history and those that are happening today.
Can we heal like Jesus did?
I believe we can, and I believe it’s happening more and more with science backing it up.
No doubt Jesus had such profound understanding of Divine Laws, and he used them. Sure, he was the son of God, but he was also made of flesh, just like us. However, his spiritual understanding of God and the laws of God blows us out of the water.
Full revelation to say the least.
I’m not a biblical scholar, but in reading the New Testament, I find that the subject of Jesus coming to destroy sin, sickness, and death is the main theme. There are plenty of theories about the whys and hows, and I’m not going to get into any of that here. The reality is that Jesus knew without a shadow of a doubt that he had a Power within that gave him the ability to manifest healing in others.
He had a knowing…full understanding or revelation that God created people perfect.
Did you get that? God created people perfect. Healed. Whole. When Jesus looked at people, he saw their “wholeness”; not sickness or disease. Operating as spirit, in Spirit, in the Kingdom of heaven, he went about healing ALL who were sick. He was a conscious spirit acting as such.
I find that fascinating.
Keep in mind that as I write this essay, I’m praying and working things out in my own mind and spirit. I’m on a journey to get revelation, share it, and live it, so take what speaks to you and leave the rest.
Divine Healing In The Bible
Let’s start by looking at several passages from the Bible that talk about divine healing.
Jesus says in John 14:12: “Whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these…"
Sounds wonderful, right? That we can do even greater works than Jesus. But how about we do the works of Jesus? Forget about the “even greater” for now and just do what he did. Heal the sick. Raise the dead. Feed the hungry. Minister to the poor. How about all that with consistency?
Sure, I know many are out doing this, or doing their best, but I also believe we need so many more light workers in the field.
Keep in mind healing includes mental, emotional, and physical healing. There’s a lot of people physically well, but suffering emotionally and mentally.
As we follow Jesus’s teachings, we can come to understand the spiritual laws he knew and practiced. I’m not talking about positive affirmations or hypnosis. Not even necessarily faith healing, though faith is necessary.
I mean coming to understand fully that God – this Divine Intelligence that is everywhere – created all things good, already healed and whole. And, gaining full revelation that we can learn, understand, and demonstrate God’s spiritual laws of healing.
What Role Do Beliefs Play?
Many religious and scientific experts who study healing say that sickness and disease are manifestations of negative thoughts or belief patterns. Meaning, as babies, we came here purely conscious, healed and while. We “learned” to become sick by already formed thoughts and beliefs from those around us and society as a whole. Or, some say through the thoughts and beliefs from our lineage before us.
Therefore, the general assumption is that if we’re struggling with illness, we are identifying more as carnal nature…as matter…as limited self, rather than our spiritual or immortal nature. Our full consciousness that knows that Jesus came and destroyed sickness.
Let’s look further at some more scriptures that show that God is able and willing to heal the sick. Keep in mind that I use the following phrases interchangeably: divine healing, spiritual healing, spiritual mind healing.
“...how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him.” Acts 10:38
“Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and HEALING EVERY disease and sickness among the people.” Matthew 4:23-24
Also, several times Jesus said, “According to your faith, let it be done to you.” (Woman with the issue of blood, the two blind men).
See, Jesus knew the Truth about sickness and disease – that it wasn’t God’s will AND that he had the revelation and power to present that Truth to those that came to him, and healing manifested as a result.
It took Jesus understanding full well the Truth that God created us perfectly well (in God’s image, mind you). God, as spiritual, divine intelligence, thought us up and formed us as spiritual beings that will live eternally. It’s just that we’re here in this earthly dimension wearing these fleshly suits that are also at the very core, particles of light.
Get A Clear Sense Of Truth
Is it God’s will to heal today? Does supernatural healing happen today?
There are so many people involved in all kinds of healing modalities that answer a resounding “yes!” I’ll cover plenty of them in future months.
Granted, the fields of divine healing, spiritual healing, or energy healing are continually evolving. Some are having great success is seeing people healed, while others not so great. Some are charging buckoo bucks to operate as healers. Others are free or donation only.
But what I love is that people are trying. They’re tapping into whatever the Source is and honing the gift of healing, and isn’t that what we all want and need? To be able to walk this planet healed emotionally, mentally, and physically?
But How Is Divine or Energy Healing Done?
The best answer I can give is, I’m not sure. Study healing long enough and you’ll see hundreds of tips, techniques, methods, and tools. Some work, some don’t. Some work instantly, some work progressively. Some require faith from both healer and healee, and some require only faith from one or the other.
I gave up trying to figure out the “how”, because it’s not necessary to understand it all.
However, I do study God’s laws, because it’s not us doing the healing. It’s law. It’s spiritual law. Some call it the power of the Holy Spirit or Divine Mind. Others call it The Field or Energy. Whatever it is, IT CAN MANIFEST HEALING, and there are plenty of testimonies that prove it.
I can only speak for me in saying that I believe in divine healing and I want to see it manifested more readily all over the world. How do I go about ministering healing?
First, I take quiet time daily to connect with God within. This Great Intelligence that is omnipresent! Like a sponge soaking in water, I soak up God’s Spirit through silence, contemplation, breathing techniques and meditation.
And, I pray for those who are in need of healing – emotional, mental, and physical. I speak healing over those in need at a distance or close by. I do not ask and ask and ask for healing. I speak the Truth and affirm (just like Jesus did) that the person has already been healed…that they are divine and perfect.
I believe the spoken word is powerful. The spoken Truth. If you study the Bible, you’ll see that Jesus and the disciples did not use long prayers or spend time asking God to heal people. They healed them, just like that. And, I believe we, as healers, can cultivate our healing gifts for more immediate results like they were getting.
Till then, be persistent. I mean, if you pray for someone (or yourself) and nothing happens, do it again later. Then tomorrow. Then the next day. Be persistent and continue gaining revelation of the Truth that healing is available…it’s Truth…it’s Law!
This isn’t to say I have manifested all these healings. In fact, I am believing for several things in my own body to “be gone”. I am persistent and will continue to seek revelation and power to experience full healing.
Here are some things I repeat, so that I can gain deeper revelation:
God is Infinite Source. Divine Truth. God is everywhere, including in and around me. God is all and because God is all, and God is good, sickness cannot exist. It doesn’t exist (except as thought and belief forms) and the Truth dissolves such thought forms. I am already healed. I, as spirit, do not operate according to physical senses. I see with my spiritual eyes. I know with my spiritual insight. This kingdom of God that Jesus talked about, is within me. Is all around me. This is my reality. This is where I choose to operate from, regardless of what’s going on in my mind or body.
I’m growing in revelation of divine Truth. That Jesus indeed came to show us that we have power over sin, sickness, and death. Only believe, he says. So, I believe. I choose to believe in the God kind of life!
Let me leave you with some links to some amazing testimonies of some who have been healed in some divine or spiritual way. Call it a miracle or whatever, healing is happening.
Healed of Cancer!
Shirley – miraculously healed of Stage IV cancer by faith in Jesus.
Merilee – after being diagnosed about aggressive cancer, Merilee went to scripture, radically changed her thought life, contemplated God’s Truth, contended for her healing, and within 7 months, she was completely healed. No trace of cancer!